Somehow, through the years, the giving of respect and dignity for one another has dissipated. There was courtesy shared between all. Now, it seems it is only given to those within our own cast of people. A group of adults who have their children in a private school would not associate with those who receive a public education and vice versa. Criticisms are stated if one is not within a social group. Even the simple ‘hello’ shouted out to one another on the street has disappeared, keeping eyes straight ahead, as one passes by.
We have all heard about the woman collapsing in the emergency room, with no one going over to assist her, passing away right there. No one bothered to tend to her even then. Everyone seems to be lost in his or her own little worlds.
Now, not everyone is like this, but is happening more often. When I was in college, people popped by to meet one another at the table in the dining hall or calling out a greeting as all were rushing to classes. In the classroom itself, there were more friendly greetings. Within minutes, names were exchanged and new friendships formed. My daughter, in her third year of school, said this does not happen anymore. At the beginning of her freshman year, she was assigned to a suite of four bedrooms, with a common kitchen and living space. I imagined all kinds of fun going on through the school year, as they shared stories over popcorn and hot chocolate. Instead, no one would speak to one another! My daughter tried, but they were not interested. One night, at the end of school, she called excitedly, to say one of them asked her to join her and her friends for a movie and popcorn. To think it took nine months for this to happen! A friend told me a similar story of her own daughter, at another university. Tears have been shed, saying no one wants to get together to ‘hang out, all wanting to stay with friends previously known. Her daughter is a precious young woman; I would be running up to say hi, eager to have her as a friend.
The homeless are also ignored. I told my teens the story of a homeless man leaning against the wall near the entrance of our Church. He was seated, his back against the wall, on this cold evening. His head was down, as if he was asleep. He had on a dirty hat, filthy pants and hands, an orange and a dollar bill near his feet. My children were quite young, gasping to see him, eyes having a look of fear in them. I quietly told them not to stare and to say a prayer for a safety as we hurried by. During the priest’s homily that evening, this man began to walk down the aisle, using a tree branch for a walking stick. You could hear the shuffle of everyone in their seats and little gasps of surprise, as he continued to walk down the aisle, head down. Not one of us reached out to help him. He stopped in front of the priest.
Father told us this man was actually not homeless, that it was an experiment to see how the congregation would respond to him. He asked how many of us had seen him, with all hands going up in the air. He then asked how many stopped to see if he was okay. Now, the hands went down. Father said only one person had stopped, to give him his coat, taking it off his own warm body to place over him. All of us felt rightfully ashamed. How could we treat another of God’s creatures as we did? Father asked the owner of the coat to come retrieve it; a 15-year-old young man walked down the aisle! Think that a teenager did respect him with dignity, but the rest of us hurriedly walked by! Yes, I told my children not to stare and to say a prayer, but I did not open my purse to hand over a few bills!
I asked my current group of teens if they see a certain homeless man walking the streets of our town. One of them asked if I was describing the man who wore a dirty coat. I affirmed that was the one. He said all the kids call him “Smilin’ Joe,” as he was always smiling as he walked. I thought that was a great name, but his real name is George. My husband saw him standing outside the store one day, asking him if he could buy him a cup of coffee. He readily accepted. As he spoke, my husband said what a beautiful, deep voice he had. At one time, he had a terrific job with a great salary, but those days are now gone. He chose to walk everywhere and anywhere each day, no mission in mind. He was not an evil character, an alcoholic, or involved in drugs. He survived by people handing him a dollar for a burrito, sandwiches given to him or enjoying that cup of coffee. If my husband had not stopped to share a moment with him, we would have never known this special someone, practicing a life of endurance, character and hope, just as God would have each of us experience. He was more of an example of living in the image of God than many of us. We need to adopt that smile he gives everyone, not carrying a bad thought in his mind. This is what dignity is actually about.
Of course, I did have a friend who walked over to someone in a restaurant who looked homeless, handing him a cup of coffee. The man was puzzled why she would do such a thing. She responded to not worry about it, just enjoy the coffee. She continued to watch the man from her table. Soon, a cashier came over with several sacks of food, saying his phone order was ready! The man asked why that woman gave him the coffee; he was not even sure if he should drink it, unsure of its contents. The cashier smiled to say the coffee was okay, a nice customer wanted to help someone out! As she told the story to several of us, we could not stop laughing. We said maybe that he wanted to dress up a little more before he went to pick up ‘carry out!’ However, she did reach out, again not caring about one’s background!
God created each of us in His image. We carry His Spirit within our hearts; people have forgotten this. We are blessed with the Gifts of the Holy Spirit, those of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, humility and self-control. Yet, we do not always practice the gentleness of God as we go through our days. Our minds tend to overflow with matters in our own lives, rather than realizing everyone needs to have that human touch. It does not matter whether one is rich or poor, dirty or clean, ill or well, of one ethnicity and not another, a busybody or a quiet person. What matters is how God wants us to be in our daily lives, to do for others what you want them to do for you, God’s Golden Rule.
It is hard to get rid of old habits, but pray to God to help us make needed changes, giving everyone to have a life filled with dignity, kindness, love and respect.
