A LITTLE LIE

While privately working with a 10-year-old one day, we got on the subject of honesty. I mentioned how it is not good to lie, as it can only do harm. He responded by saying that at times, it actually is okay to tell a lie. Surprised, I asked him on what occasions this would be acceptable. He said, “When you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings.”

What a beautiful reply. I instantly thought of a dinner a family member has slaved over, so proud of what has been served. How sad it would be, if someone had said, “This dinner is the worst meal I ever ate!”

Many times, we have caught ourselves wanting to say one thing, but saying something else. We are aware of the feelings of another, not wanting to harm the emotions. It is a good question to ask oneself, “Do I cause more detriment by saying what I really think or do I prevent this by watching my choice of words?”

This does not mean we need to go overboard with what we say, to keep another feeling pleased about the mentioned endeavor. To say, “I am pleased with this beautiful dinner you have served,” may be the start of the makings of a great chef.

I know each of us can think of the teacher we had in school who had made a negative remark to someone in our classroom. Instead of making constructive criticism, it was downright critical, leaving it on the mind to this very day. It is so much better to look at the positive instead of the negative. When another asks how you like his or her new clothes, it would be so easy to say, “Ghastly!” To not hurt any feelings, it would be better to say you are glad they are wearing the latest fad or how great the color is. Maybe hard-earned money was saved to buy it. No, it is not something we would even think of wearing, but unless it would bring harm to the individual in front of you, just let it go.

“Let it go.” What a memorable sentence. Don’t hurt someone’s feelings. Let it go. In its place, use encouraging words, permitting those placed before us to nurture their own body, soul and spirit, wherever life takes them.