NICOLAS

NICOLAS

Have I told you about 17 year old Nicolas?  He was snowboarding, hit a slick part on the hill, slamming into a tree, head first.  Being in a coma for four days was a scary time for family and friends.  Coming to on the fifth day was most exciting. But, his battle is far from over.  Though he can walk and talk, his memory is scarce. A hospital visit brings recognition, but, he cannot remember so many things. He is an artist, with his work featured on Santa Fe's poster for the Winter Spanish Market.  Sadly, on the day of poster signing, he was in the hospital. The good news is that he will get to leave the hospital day after tomorrow, going home to sleep in his own bed!  But, he can't return to school yet.  He still has a lot of hard work ahead of him. His memory has to return. Though therapies will help, our prayers will help even more so. Please ask our Lord to let the Holy Spirit give more strength and love  to Nicolas, in multitude, so that he may live the life of a teenager once again!

SILENT NIGHT

As I heard my daughter sing "Silent Night" as a solo in Church tonight, it brought me back to her birth.  She was born eight weeks early.  I was told I would be flown to the nearest hospital having the facilities to help an infant not yet developed enough to be born. On the night of her birth, the doctor told me females are stronger than the males, from the moment of birth, she would have a chance to live.  What a journey it was!  I never knew from one hour to the next what her state of being was.  At times, it was quite precarious; other times, she was stable. The nurses and doctors in intensive care were fantastic, ever so patient and kind.
 Her little feet were black from all the blood transfusions. The IV was in her scalp, the easiest place to find a vein. I never, ever gave up hope.  I knew God was with her and me; that everything would be alright.  It was a long journey, seeing those shut eyes at birth, wondering when they would open, as if she was a kitten. What big, brown eyes they were on the day she looked at me!
She was in terrible pain; one time; once she cried for 19 hours in my arms, as we sat in our living room. The next day, her painful cries were silent, as her tiny voice had given out.
The journey continued for many years, not knowing what would happen next.  Now, she is this lovely young adult, a singing voice waking up everyone between here and heaven. She has no signs of an early birth. Recently, we were sharing her early birth with those who had been touched by her voice.  What a shock it was.  It is truly a miracle of God. He is now sharing one of His many miracles. She is alive and sharing the Spirit of God with many, through a first soprano voice which moves the young and old alike. One man in a wheelchair came up to her recently, saying he would follow her wherever she goes. At the same time, the teenager giving the most grief in a class came up to her to say how she affects him. Always share the gifts of God.  One never knows who will be touched!

JOY!

Joy!  The sounds of laughter early Christmas morning, as children see what Santa has left.  Joy! Presents being opened, surrounded by loved ones.  Joy! Traditional holiday breakfasts.  Traditional dinners.  Joy! Friends and family stopping by to visit on this happy day.  Joy! Gathering after the big meal to play board games, enjoying one another, sounds of merriment surrounding the room. Joy! Christ the Savior is born!

Holiday Music

Christmas Music.  Some of it we have heard in stores for months. Even while out enjoying Italian food lately, I heard the common Christmas carols. It seemed so out of place. However, hearing a Christmas concert in a Church setting was resplendent. It was enchanting, hearing songs from all over the world. The concert ended with O Holy Night and Night of Silence. They deeply affected me. I was moved to tears. The words and melodies of these songs tell me why we do celebrate Christmas.  Having the image of Joseph and Mary finding a place to give birth to our Savior is a stunning one. How fortunate we are, to still have this vivid image, the son of God being born, saving all of us, sharing His Spirit among many. God Bless You on this night before Christmas.

REMEMBERING

Today is a bit of a 'gray day.'  A few inches of snow have fallen, with the skies promising more. I do not see any 'glistening in the snow,' as the approaching storm nears. It is two days before Christmas, when family and friends gather, bringing much conversation and laughter. But in a number of homes, there will be a sense of quiet, grieving over those passing away this year. In Santa Fe, we are especially hit, losing four teens at once this summer, due to a drunk driver hitting their car. Life has to go one for the families, but it a different kind of life now.  Nothing will ever be the same. Through our joys, let us remember all of those having sorrow, praying to God that they will feel the love and gentleness of the Holy Spirit as they go through each 'season of memories.'

LOST

 Recently, I was visiting with a 12 year old before Mass.
We were there an hour early. My teen was in choir practice and she had just found out she was too young to join the practice. I had approached her in my wheelchair, saying hello.
After a small bit of conversation, she volunteered she has a brother
out there somewhere, her twin. She has never met him, but very much
wants to do so. She had hoped to meet him this summer, but at the
designated meeting place, he and his current family never came. I
could easily see this is her dream, to meet her sibling. Sitting
across from me during Sunday Mass, I never knew she held this hidden heartbreak. As other young children arrived and jumped in my lap to get a wheelchair ride, Iasked her to push us to the votive candles. We lit one, hoping her dream will come true. May the Holy Spirit be at work, that someday
she may meet her twin, bringing her much happiness.

TEENS

There are teens, and then there are teens.  What?  You may say why I am making such an outrageous statement.  But,  it is true. Teens seem to be placed into one category..”Rotten.”  Absolutely, there is that frontal lobe in the brain ,  which doesn’t seem to be connected to the brain at all! Since our third child is now in the midst of her teens, it would seem as if I would know what teens are all about.  Granted, I may have a range of experience in what to expect in the teen world, but I am still learning. What I have learned is not to pre-judge this stage of development. There are those who branch out, WAY out, but there are others who go through a stage of independence, anticipating what is ahead of them in life after high school, along with those who are still taking the small steps , becoming independent, but still are dependent upon their loved ones.  In any case, we must open up our eyes, ears and tongues as to how we respond to this group. We are their role models, though they may not acknowledge this.  Let us pray they feel the Holy Spirit within them, protecting them and loving them, as they begin to leave the nests to start their own life in this big world.

TOMORROW

The last line of the novel “Gone With the Wind” has Scarlett O’Hara saying “Tomorrow will be another day.” Yes, it will be another day.  How will we approach it?  Will we drag into the new day all the heaviness we are carrying upon our shoulders? Doing so will soon have our shoulders down to our knees, as we continue to add worries to those we can’t let go.  Or, we could try something new; trying to start each day with a clean slate. We will be floating on air before we know it.  What matters is what is happening right now, not what happened yesterday. Ask the Holy Spirit to help lift you up. Forget the past; breathe in the fresh air. Let your soul feel the new energy. Say a prayer of thanks to God for letting you enjoy another day in His beautiful world.

OLD FRIENDS

OLD FRIENDS

While out doing some Christmas shopping today, I heard a familiar voice call out my name.  I had not heard this voice in over 30 years, but I knew it immediately, belonging to a former high school friend.  We started laughing and visiting as if we had seen one another last week. After an hour, we finally pulled away to start our shopping once again. Of course, there were a few more hugs good-bye and a few more of 'one more thing to say', before we both went on. This friend is quite spiritual, which made our conversation take on a different tone than the one we had in high school. We have led different lives since our high school graduation, yet the Spirit brought us together for a chance meeting. It was a good example that though we may think we are different from one another, we still share the same Spirit of God, giving us enlightenment in our lives, no matter where we are!

TASTE AND SEE

A favorite verse of mine is Psalm 34:9, “Taste and see the goodness of the Lord.”  We can taste and see His goodness as we live in His image.  This does not mean we grow our hair out and wear the white robe and sandals. Rather, we live with the same sense of loving, caring, kindness, teaching, listening and learning from one another as the Lord would.  Similar words include graciousness, courtesy, warm-hearted, generosity, gentleness, understanding and giving attention to those we greet. Our morning prayers must ask God to let us feel His Spirit within us as we carry out our actions of the day. We will taste and see the goodness of the Lord everywhere we go. A smile will remain on our faces, no matter where we are. As we know, smiles are contagious. Let our smiles remind others of the great works of the Holy Spirit!

THIRSTY

Can you recall when your mouth was so dry, you desperately needed water? We can't envision anything else, as everything inside dries up. Think in the same realm, but this time, be thirsty for the Lord.  What if you couldn't have Him in your life?  Would you die from not having God to replenish your thirst, as if you were out in the arid desert without a canteen? Instead, we can remember what we have been told, that if we continue to have faith as tiny as a mustard seed, we can achieve the impossible.  Our canteens would be filled, bringing back a new life.Our souls would constantly be replenished by the love of God, having the Holy Spirit being actively alive within each of us.  Never stop those prayers to God, asking Him to please keep you going in your spiritual life, never letting its stream of wisdom, knowledge and love go dry. As it continues to flow, so will you words of encouragement and prayer continue to flow, always blessing God for the good life you have been given.

CALLER ID

Imagine yourself being busy in your house, catching up on the endless cleaning, cooking and laundry.  The phone rings.  Thank goodness for Caller ID. You run over to the little screen to see who it is calling. It could be someone you are delighted to hear from, a diversion from your mundane tasks. On the other hand, it might be a 'courtesy' call, telling you your life would be better by taking a deal on light bulbs. You don't have time for such a call, nor do you care. Now, imagine looking over at the little screen and read that it is GOD calling you. Would you take the call? How much time do you have for Him? Saying to yourself “Maybe later; He can leave me a message,” is shutting Him out.  But, if you do answer, your life is changed forever. Your house now becomes a home, filled with His Spiritual love. By your answering, He is now there to answer you, whenever you call out to Him!

ADVENTUROUS

ADVENTURISM

I was thinking in the night (frequent insomnia here!) about my Uncle Robert. He was in town visiting the family.  We went out to eat, where the server told us the special for the evening was frog legs. After he went on, Uncle Robert told me it would be great to order frog legs, that it was fun to be adventurous. That was enough for me. The server took my order of frog legs. He next asked Uncle Robert what he wished to eat. He said he would like the steak.  I turned to him, surprised, saying he had just told me it was fun to be adventurous.  Yes, he said, he did say that, but he did not mean he would be! It was my first laugh of the evening, as he continued to keep me in hysterics about college times with him and my dad, who had been his best friend, in the late 1940s. I heard of how the bread truck driving in front of them  lost loaves of bread on the road, not knowing the back door had flung open.  They grabbed the bread, going from door to door to sell their bread. Another story was of their return from nearby Juarez, where one buddy was more inebriated than the others. They put him to bed, deciding to shave his head, with the friend never waking up.  The fun didn’t stop there; they carried his bed, with him in it, placing it on the lawn, in the middle of the campus.  They stayed there with him, waiting for the response when he woke up. As the sun glared on his face, he woke up, looking around, completely confused on how he got there.  Bewildered, he began the gesture of running his fingers through his hair, discovering the next surprise, of the shaved head. Shocked and wide awake by now, he was yelling profusely while Uncle Robert, my dad and others were screaming in laughter.  What a wonderful evening I had, as one story after poured out.  Of course, my father had not told me about these times, so it was fun to see his close friend of many years spill the beans. To think they stayed friends all their lives, with his sister later marrying my dad, is such a treasure. Friends are a treasure.  I wonder how many of us can say we’ve stayed friends with those from so long ago. Maybe this is the time to find out where they are today, surprising them with a call. With the Internet access, it is easy to find so many ( I just discovered whitepages.com!). If there had been a parting of the ways so long ago, what better time to forget the past and rediscover those precious times. Remember the Holy Spirit is there, giving you all the courage you need to pick up the phone! Oh...and for those frog legs?  I had more fun picking up the legs, feet attached, showing them off, getting groans out of others, than eating them!

RESPONSES

I recently had a theology course, having weekly discussion boards. After one of my entries, a classmate said my response would help her have a new relationship with her teen.  I had said that no matter what young adults told me, I responded with sympathy. It might be a broken fingernail, a happening in their day, or how a friend responded to something that had said. I have also done this with the students I have had for the past 38 years.  To them, whatever the catastrophe, it is a true problem.  As adults, if we have a problem, we do not want someone to laugh at us. It is human nature to want sympathy. Have concern and listen to what they say.  Show expression in your response, letting them know you have heard them. It does not hurt to throw in a hug or two! They are the next generation; let us show them the way!  Open up your heart to the Spirit. Doing so will let your heart open up to everyone!

GIVE-AWAY

It’s been 20 years, but I still have a memory of a boy about 13  years old standing in the street selling newspapers. He had  a thin shirt on, shivering.  I rolled down my window,  asking him where his coat was.  He said he didn’t have one.  To this day, I wonder why I didn’t hand him my jacket. Learning from this, I  keep extra coats in my car, as well as gloves, neck scarves and hats.  I carry boxes of raisins and snack crackers to give to those begging at intersections.  In the summer, I carry cold water bottles.  As they light up, I see how a little something can mean so much. All of us should ‘give away,’ as many are hungry and cold. Our closets have items no longer worn.  Post holiday sales are great for stocking  up on hats and gloves. Pray to our Lord how thankful we are, blessed to reach out to someone else.

JOURNEYS

During our lives, we go on many journeys.  Many will be delightful ones, but there will also be ones of sorrow, anger and misery. Each journey we take adds character to our inner spirit. Wisdom will be strengthened as experiences occur. Sometimes, we will be on a beaten path, not yet realizing we can't go that way.  Choices will be made, learning as we go if it was the right decision to make. It won't always be easy. But, God doesn't want us to quit taking the different roads in our lives.  That is why He sent His Spirit to live with us, to help us as venture out to the unknown, always filled with His love.

EXQUISITE

"Your words, Lord, are spirit and life." Ps. 19
How exquisite these seven words are. The Lord never stops speaking to us. He is there in the splendid array of reds and oranges from a sunrise or sunset, or by the snowflakes silently falling upon trees. We feel Him as the wind provides a peaceful breeze. He is in the sounds of ocean waves breaking as they reach the shore, the rain hitting the windows, a squirrel chirping, the birds singing.  There are the sounds of laughter, the cries of a newborn, the tears of sadness and joy. We hear it in the conversations with one another. We feel Him speaking as we share a hug or in the holding of hands. Our Lord never sleeps, always there to share His Spirit and His life, expressing His eternal love for us.

Happiness Souffle

This morning, a former grade school student came by to say hello. Knowing that she was coming, I was going through old files to see if I had saved something she had written, nearly 30 years ago. What I found was a compilation of short essays and poems done by my gifted students. It was fun to go through memories with her, looking at various journal entries she and others had written. One student had written a wonderful 'recipe,' calling it a "Happiness Souffle." She gathered together friends and good times, stirring them together well. Added to this was a pinch of forgiveness, blending softly. During the blending, happy memories were to be tossed in. Finding a nice place to let it set, care was to be stirred in, letting everything sit for awhile. When it is ready, do enjoy the happiness. What a beautiful recipe! It is one we need to remember to pull out and make often, not letting our busy and hectic lives bury this recipe at the bottom of a pile. We will never remember all that was in that pile, but we will remember all of the ingredients of this souffle. It is just what the Spirit of God ordered!

AFRAID

AFRAID
It is easy to become afraid.  There can be many factors in someone’s life causing fear.  The unknown is always scary, not being able to foresee what is ahead for us. We can get quite wrapped up in what may or may not happen in our lives. But, if we let fear dominate our thoughts, we don’t give God a chance to take care of us. Switching our concerns to that of having faith in God will be healthy for the heart and soul. No longer do we have to worry what may or may not happen during the years to come. We have His Spirit to be our advocate.  Things may not go always as planned. Still we do not need to be afraid.  We only need faith.

ANXIETY

I love the verse in 1 Peter 5:7, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” It is easy to forget who can truly help us if we are going through stressful times. Blaming another for causing the stress does not solve the problem. It can have the adverse affect, of causing more anxiety. It would be better to find a quiet space, praying for the Holy Spirit to comfort you during this tumultuous time. Take a moment to breathe in the air around you. Shut your eyes and picture a relaxing scene in your mind. It could be a special moment in your life or visualizing one of your favorite landscapes.  The important thing is not to shut the Holy Spirit out. Remember, He is always there to care for you!

Ruah

The Hebrew language has a word, ruah, which means 'wind or breath.' It is apropos to what God did, breathing his Spirit into us.  It is a beautiful image, ruah, with more images of the Spirit to follow. There is the water to purify our souls, fire to give us light, and the dove, giving us peace.  Having the Holy Spirit direct our lives will produce love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and faithfulness, humility and self-control.
It is human nature to turn our backs on any one of these. What is important is to not keep our backs turned.  Otherwise,  wrongdoings will begin to eat away at our very souls. We could  no longer nourish the Spirit for which we have been blessed. We must pray for constant guidance from the Holy Spirit. We must also pray for those who have turned their backs on God, that they, too, will begin to nourish their souls, understanding right from wrong. Let the Holy Spirit guide you, as well as those who surround you, friend or foe. Let your face feel 'ruah,' knowing the Holy Spirit will never cease loving you.

DETERMINATION

DETERMINATION

It is easy to take on a commitment, only to find out it was more challenging than we expected. Some may want to give up and quit, yet there are others who remain tenacious, being strong-willed throughout the arduous process. This is where the will of God's Spirit comes to play. We may think we are alone as we go through numerous struggles to get the task done. But, it is the gift of the Holy Spirit who is there every moment for us, helping us to gain wisdom and  knowledge, strengthening our character. We are now a better person than we were when we began the journey. Before long, another challenge will come our way. Because we are now wiser and stronger, we are ready to dive into the next undertaking. I remember my own piece of philosophy on every venture I take on, "Never say I can't. Always say I can."  Realizing I am carrying the Spirit within me, I can take on anything. It might take awhile to get to the end of the road once again, but I will get there. I will praise God for sharing His Spirit with me, giving me the opportunity to always say "I can!"

LOVED ONES PASSING

A powerful piece of Scripture says to us, "You sweep mortals away. They are a dream.  They sprout again in the morning like cut grass (Ps.90:5). When a loved one passes away, we loose part of our own hearts and souls. At times, it is hard to keep going, though we know we have to. Waking up to an emptiness does not make the daily life easy to accept. Seeking comfort from God is the only way life seems possible. God is letting us know that though our beloved being is no longer in our tangible presence, there is still a feeling of a presence among us. These are the sprouts of grass cropping up, when we least expect it.  Maybe it will be seen in a splendid rainbow, a colorful flower bursting out among a spread of weeds,or a calmness occurring throughout the body in  moments of anxiety. Yes, our loved one has been swept away, but has come back to us, visiting us for all of eternity.

MUSTARD

One of my favorite stories to share is of the summer I asked my husband to plant some mustard in our garden.  Being the sweet husband that he is, he obliged, planting the tiniest of seeds in the front rows of the rich soil. I eagerly awaited for the plant to sprout, thinking of one of my favorite pieces of Scripture, "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can move mountains.  Nothing is impossible!" (Matthew 17:20) I had never seen a mustard plant before, so I did not know what to expect. In the process of it growing, I was most excited, waiting for the outcome of  what this little seed could produce. My excitement began to wane though, as the plant kept growing and growing.  Soon, I could see the mustard was growing taller and wider, as if it was a bush. Before I knew it, it had taken over the garden, reseeding on its own, bushes with large blossoms everywhere. All I could see were  mustard plants, smothering out any other plants in the flower beds. I was now begging for my husband to get rid of the stuff. He kept laughing, saying I was the one who wanted it in the first place. The following summer, he asked if I wanted to plant mustard again.  I let out a resounding "No!" But, through this experience, I could now see how having faith as small as a mustard seed can bury us deep in our faith, as we grow through the actions of the Holy Spirit. Nothing will stop us. Instead, as we nurture the seed of the Holy Spirit, reseeding our newly found wisdom each year , we can spread our love for the faith God has given each of us. We will not let go of it, wanting to always spread the Word of God.

SIMPLE

It takes a child at times to introduce us to the simple things in life. As adults, we can tend to think the more high tech something is or the more we collect, we can enjoy life more. But, sometimes, it is a child's laughter, over something as simple as blowing up a balloon to bounce around, which makes life worthwhile. As adults, we should try to spend one day living as modestly as we could.  Instead of picking up the remote control, pick up a book instead. Rather than putting on the music, enjoy the silence as you read the words on paper, turning one page after another while sitting under the window with the sun shining in.  Put on a pot of soup rather than using the microwave or going out to eat.  Play with your pet, not putting on a video game.  I think our bodies will enjoy  the respite.  Maybe we ought to try doing it for two days! Oh, how the Holy Spirit will wake up your spirit as you enjoy the simple things in life!

PRIDE

As Thanksgiving approaches, it is a time to reflect upon our riches, not in a materialistic sense, but in what God has given us.  He has given us the greatest gift of all, His Spirit. We can see life in color, rather than in black and white, being perceptive to all of God's creations. We can go beyond the magnificent sunsets and sunrises, taking in not only the gifts of nature, but the gifts of the individual. If someone else can get joy from another's personal gift, then God's wishes are being met. I am not musically inclined, yet I love to hear someone else sing or play an instrument. What a gift I have received, having those talents shared.with me. Bringing happiness to others is God's desire. One can be proud of the given talent, rather than being proud in the boasting sense.  Feel the Spirit within you, as you reach out to others with the beautiful gifts you have been offered.

HUMOR

Last night was one where I could not get comfortable as I attempted sleep. I tossed and turned the hours away. I'd get settled in one position, only to want to move around once more.  This is not the best thing to have happen while on oxygen, as I kept getting wrapped up in its long cord, After so many times, I then had to unwind myself, only to repeat the cycle, for hours on end. To picture this happening in your mind can only bring a smile to your face...wrap herself up, unwrap herself...all night long. Even in the otherwise stillness of the night, I was finding humor in my actions.  Humor is important in life.  It truly can be the best medicine. The soul would get heavy without it, being drawn down into the far depths of sadness, making it hard to escape.  Feel the spirit of the Spirit, making life much more enjoyable. Remember what Psalm 121:3 says:"He will not let you fall;your protector is always awake."

CHANGES

Right now, as we look out, we see trees with bare branches and wilted flowers in the gardens. Everything looks so brown, all the bright blossoms gone for another season. I much prefer to have the warmth and color surrounding me, but this is not part of the plan, living where I do. I am even sad to see people leave their brightly colored clothes behind, replacing them with the darker shades of blues, greens and browns.  Yet, we can still find glory and joy as the autumn season fades and the happenings of winter begin. It is a time where people begin to get in touch with one another once again, getting updates on their lives since this time last year. There are the fresh foods from the garden, ready to be harvested and enjoyed. Families start to gather together more, in anticipation of a season which will be filled with beautiful music, laughter, hugs and excitement.   As we read in Ecclesiastes 3:1, Everything that happens in this world happens at the time God chooses," we continue to see how the Holy Spirit provides!
"Human beings are like leaves on a spreading tree. New growth takes the place of the fallen leaves; while some of us die, others are being born." Sirach 14: 18

The Rut of Life

I recently met a woman who was a 'tired mom.' Her platter was too full and her patience was on empty. This is a natural thing, to get caught in 'the rut of life.' But, now it's time to think about getting out of the rut. Think for a moment, "Is it an inconvenience or is it a problem?" Sometimes, when I reach the conclusion of "problem," I question myself further, "If it is a problem, will I become terminal if I don't respond to it?" One of my own children asked me once why I didn't react in any way to the driver who just cut me off in traffic. I threw out my question to her.  She was silent only a moment, before saying, "Well, when you put it THAT way..." Let the Holy Spirit enrich you instead, putting a smile on your face, not letting the inconveniences hold you down. "Lord, you shall show me the path of life and fill me with joy in your presence." Ps 16:11

What If?

Our lives can be filled with "What ifs.." "What if I had left five minutes earlier? What if he had stayed home that night? What if I hadn't said what I did? What if I had done this instead of that?"  The problem is we cannot take back whatever we did, nor can we change the actions of another.  We can work ourselves up in worry about what happened, doing havoc to the body. It is not an easy time, but we must continue to feel the goodness of the Holy Spirit, working within us.  We have to turn it over to Him, because what has happened cannot be undone. In some cases, we may be able to say, "Next time..." But, it is the Holy Spirit's power of love which will begin the healing process. It may take a long time to heal, but the Holy Spirit is patient; we will never be deserted.  The glowing fire of the Holy Spirit will be surrounding us,  keeping  us going and giving us strength to meet each day!

Take a Breath

In Chronicles 29:10-12, we read of the words David used to describe our Lord, "powerful, glorious, splendid and majestic."  He can is strong and powerful. Because we have been blessed with the Holy Spirit, we are also filled with what are behind these words.  We do have the power and glory to live a good life. Our souls have been satiated with His splendor and saturated with His richness, giving us an ebullient strength to never quit feeling his power. Take a moment right now to take a deep breath, mouth closed and feel His warmness begin to envelop you within. Now take another moment to thank God for sharing Himself, saying you will treasure what He has given you, feeling His awe-inspiring Spirit throughout your day!

Kairos

In my different readings, I am often reminded of 'Kairos.'  This is a Greek word, referring to time.  How do we use our time?  Is it always so busy we forget to make a moment to ourselves? We need to make that time, as this is when we can sit back, breathe in, shut our eyes, and think of nothing but of God the Father, His Son and the Holy Spirit.  All are intertwined, living as separately but as one, just as we have our parts of the body, but the head is what keeps us together. We must take this time to let the Holy Spirit come visit us, to strengthen us, giving us courage to attack our busy lives.  We will find we are content, able to face the world, because of taking the time to receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.

Blessed Gifts, Blessed Fruits

..."For your imperishable Spirit is in all things!" (Wisdom 12:1) Can you imagine life if the Spirit wasn't always there, dwelling within us?  A part of our own spirit would be lost, as the Spirit makes us be who we are. What we have to do is nourish it, and listen to what is being said to us if we begin to take a wrong path. Have patience with everyone, as hard as it can get at times. Have generosity.Share the blessed gifts God has personally given you with others.Have joy in your heart.Bring a radiance of happiness to others instead of self-pity. Learn from the wisdom of the Holy Spirit. Everything we say, every act we do, can build upon our experiences, strengthening the wisdom given to us.  Practice counsel. Strive for a life of perfection in the eyes of God. Practice piety. Don't be pious only once a week; have it be an active part of your daily life. Have understanding. What might seem trivial to us is important to another. Understand this, sharing your heart with all before you. Do have fear of the Lord.  Keep Him in awe. Recognize how great God is. Let the Holy Spirit constantly feed you with the grandeur of the Lord. Feel His power, Feel His strength. Feel the enormity of his passion and care. What He does for us, through His Son and in the Holy Spirit far surpasses what any other being can give us.  Be blessed!

Listen

Often, we can get so wrapped up in telling our story, we don't listen to someone else. Yet, if we do listen, we can learn from one another. At times, a person just wants to be able to talk, to clear the mind.  At times, a reply isn't really needed, nor an opinion stated. It is nice to only offer a hug of support.  Doing so can make someone's day, to allow one to get over the obstacle which has been blocking the path to move ahead.  You may feel the strength of the Holy Spirit as you listen, but you don't need to say so to another.  Instead, let your actions speak for you. Pray silently, asking God to let others feel the peace you do. God has His own beautiful way of taking care of things. For now, you be the unexpected friend to help them silently feel the power of the Holy Spirit!

What do you see?

While you are out today, look at your surroundings differently.  Maybe you didn't notice that small tree before, or that pretty potted plant on someone's porch.  Maybe you haven't noticed the artwork in your place of work before, nor that of your neighbor's. Swallow in the crisp, cold air, thanking God for letting you be part of this day. Take a walk around the block at lunch. Notice those small innocent children at play, wishing you could gain back some of that innocence. Look each person in the eye as you pass one another.  Smile and give a pleasant greeting to all you see.  Don't hold back.  Let the Holy Spirit guide you. Make your day better.  Make the day better for someone else, friend, stranger or foe.  You can do it.  The Holy Spirit will not let you down!

CLOUDS and HAPPINESS

Clouds have always fascinated me. As I see the different shapes and forms in the sky, I can go wild in my imagination.  I don't always think of them as taking the form of an object, but instead how they affect my soul.
They seem to bring such a calmness about me. Always, they lead me into prayer. I am thanking God for allowing me to see these beautiful pieces of art into nature.  I can truly feel my heart start to beat a little faster and my cheeks begin to be a bit warmer. Just as with people, no two clouds are alike. And, as with people, each can affect another in a different way, though there is a common thread to keep all united.  May the brightness and softness of every beautiful cloud cause for you to also feel a happiness within your spiritual soul.  Be good to yourself, nourishing this internal glow. Gently reach out to others, giving them the same opportunity to feel the calmness of God and the Holy Spirit, having all us stay united with our Lord.

Radiance

We often say how our heart is filled with warmth at a particular moment, as something special happens in our lives.. But what we forget to say is how our Spirit is also filled with warmth.  This is where the glow is starting from, the fire burning within the Holy Spirit. From there, it radiates out, warming our hearts and our souls, with our eyes radiating, as if, they, too are feeling the fire of the Spirit. May you feel the warm blessings of the Holy Spirit today, letting your sparkling eyes reach out to others, bringing a joy to all of you!

CHANGE

Some of us on Facebook have been having a fun conversation, about always sitting in the same place at Mass, week after week, year after year. If someone is sitting where we usually do, the reaction isn't a very good one.  I plead guilty to being an unhappy one, as my children grew up. That was OUR row and OUR seats. Who are these people sitting there?
How funny it is how we cannot accept change.  Yet, change is good.  It can open the soul and allow the Holy Spirit to have a bit of excitement in one's life, rather than being dormant. It can open our eyes that might have been open, but  were actually shut to seeing new opportunities sitting before us. Who knows what we would miss if we didn't accept change. And with it, we might find the new way better than the last. Stir up the Holy Spirit within you and think of doing something a bit different than usual today!

Right now, I have four small dogs surrounding me. They follow me around throughout my day.  What unconditional love they bring! We humans are not as free giving. While the innocence of an animal remains intact, our somehow fades away, more so as we add one more age to our being each year. We begin to judge others, limiting who it is that we like or dislike. Approaching friends or strangers to give a hug is limited, perhaps depending on our mood that day.  Yet, our pets give us love constantly, so strings attached. Maybe today, each of us can live a little like these sweet four legged creatures, reaching out to someone, letting them feel the warmth of the Holy Spirit resting in our souls.

Which Path?

Henri Nouwen, a priest who decided to spend his calling at a home for the mentally challenged, wrote of his experiences in several of his books. One of the adults wrote a beautiful poem about hope:

Hope means to keep living
amid desperation
and to keep humming
in the darkness
Hoping is knowing that there is love,
it is trust in tomorrow
it is falling asleep and waking again
when the sun rises.
In the midst of a gale at sea,
it is to discover land.
In the eyes of another
it is to see that you are understood.
As long as there is still hope
There will also be prayer
And God will be holding you
in God's hands.

How beautiful this is! Instead of getting wrapped up in the complexities of life, he sees hope. I cannot ever say enough about hope, as it is what we must continually  strive for  in every choice we make. We must  not allow ourselves to get caught in a maze.  Success can be reached, though it may take awhile before we take the right path.   Pray to the Holy Spirit, feeling His gentleness and patience as we go along our individual paths, feeling the freedom our Lord has given us.

While taking my teen to school this morning, she said she and her dad, who is out of town, now had a different place to let her off in the mornings. I asked her if I should turn left at the light, with her saying yes.  As I was turning left, she called out a big no, I was supposed to be turning right. I was now going the opposite way than planned.  We were laughing. I told her she said to turn left.  She agreed, but that really meant I was to turn right, which made us laugh all the more so.

What a great way to begin the day, with a bit of laughter.  We so often forget to do this, getting wrapped up in the mundane activities we go through each morning to start our day.  Instead of thinking of laughter, we are thinking of how we must hurry, getting frantic. The 'hurry' aspect stays with us throughout the day. We have forgotten to laugh.

Think of memories you have to bring out the laughter. I shared a memory with a group recently. One of my children was in the kitchen, following a recipe for a school project. She was doing her preparations by the open kitchen window. My husband and I were sitting on the porch outside of this window.  Another of my children walks into the kitchen, noticing egg shells are in the mixing bowl. We hear the question being asked of why were there were egg shells in the mix, the response was that the recipe asked for egg whites!  No matter how many times I tell this story, I start laughing before I can get out the final line. On that particular day, my husband and I had to cover our mouths so we wouldn't be heard laughing, offending the cook. Of course, the cook now takes this cooking lesson in stride when the teasing begins.

May you, too, bring some sunshine to your day, thinking of past memories.  May the Blessed Holy Spirit fill you warmth, love and laughter as you think of them!

Endurance

     A favorite Bible passage of mine is Romans 5:3-5, "We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God's love has been poured into our hearts, through the Holy Spirit, which has been given to us."
     It is hard to understand at times how we can rejoice in our sufferings.  I had a seven year old girl ask me why there had to be so much sadness in life. I did my best to explain to her how we get stronger every time something sad does happen to us. I said after knowing sadness, we do not take anything for granted in life. Rather we start seeing life as something very precious.
     It is a hard to understand this, no matter how young or old we are. We can only pray to God for strength to get us through our daily endeavors. It is not easy.  But, we must remember we have not been abandoned; the Holy Spirit is there, providing us with love and care. His power of love and care is beyond words. It is up to us to accept what He provides, as we continue to go about facing what each day brings.

A Silent Night

A good day to you!  I almost wrote this inspirational note at 4AM, since I was wide awake, ready to roll. I gave up trying to sleep, coming out to the living room to sip chamomile tea.  How silent it was!  Even the dogs were fast asleep. I enjoyed the stillness and the quiet.  It became my time with God, knowing there would not be interruptions, nor having to respond to the fastness of every day life. I absorbed the silence, immersing it deep into my soul. Feeling completely content and relaxed by 5:30AM, I was able to drift off to a peaceful sleep. I thought  I would sleep well into the morning. However, at 9:30 I woke up, feeling happy and refreshed. Ah, the Holy Spirit can do amazing things!

Good Morning, God!

Today is a beautiful day out. My first words spoken in my mind today were to God, telling him good morning and thanking him for this crispy autumn air and the blue sky. I could feel my spirit starting to stir, as I noticed the blue jays stopping at our bird feeder, with others stopping at the bird bath. Though I might be at a standstill, the works of God never stop. His spreads his Holy Spirit everywhere. We are the privileged ones, being the recipients of His magnificent gifts. Let all of us go out today, feeling the strength of the Holy Spirit, and spread His love, kindness and joy to those who seem to be having a rather bad day. Bring on a smile!

Harvest and the Holy Spirit Nurturing us

 While in Mass yesterday, facing the altar and crucifix, I could peer out the large glassed window behind them. The serene land seen could show me fall had come, with the trees holding golden leaves. I had a sad moment, thinking of what had been alive is now gone for another season, when once again, it will come back to life. To me it was another sign of the resurrection.
My thoughts were only sad for a moment, as a realized how one piece of greenery is now gone, but in its place are the signs of a harvest. There are the reds and greens of chile, the beautiful brightly colored orange pumpkins, the purples of eggplant, and the golden rows of wheat. What a scene I had in my mind, during the Eucharistic Prayer. I saw how the Holy Spirit was at work once again, showing where there is sadness, there is also hope. I realized that while I continue to be nurtured by the Holy Spirit, I am also being nurtured by all the foods of autumn. A moment of thanks and a smile deemed necessary, as I see once again, He always provides!  Amen!

Spirituality Providing a Light

Spirituality can add a light to each of us. It is surrounding us, even in our darkest moments. Perhaps it seems to only be a flicker, as a candle darts its light inside a carved pumpkin. But, it never goes out.
Just as that candle is especially bright within the harvested pumpkin, the light of the Spirit is glowing brightly within us. We, too, are being nourished to be gleaned one day, for a new life, an eternity with God. Those who have gone before us never stopped receiving this wondrous light. Now, they live in exquisite brightness, as they have joined our Trinitarian God, where the glow is beyond anything we can describe. Our loved ones are being kept warm at at peace, basking in the light or our glorious Lord.

Music, The Soul and The Holy Spirit

As I write today, I am listening to Masters of Chant IV, a new age group with music which can affect your soul. You can only feel good as you hear these men sing, with the electronics in the background. It is as how the Holy Spirit can affect my soul. But the Holy Spirit lasts longer than two minutes. It is always t...here, giving me a good feeling. It provides endless music to my soul, whether it is in the middle of the morning or in the middle of the night. What an emotional and sensational feeling it gives me, always nurturing me. When you have a da

Spirituality-What It Means To Me

1. First, I would define spirituality as a 'presence' I feel in myself and in others. It appears to have a calmness about it, which radiates from within. As it radiates, it transcends its calmness to the next person. A breath is inhaled, allowing the spirituality to enter, allowing this human being to also feel the calmness.
   
   Spirituality is seen in the eyes of the carrier, as they take on a glow of happiness. As they shine, it cannot be helped but to begin to feel the same luminosity within oneself, shining with the warmness of intense love and caring. It is God's own love and caring being present, as we absorb what those eyes are telling us.
   
   Spirituality is seen in the smile. The smile which is full of blessings, thanking God for the gift of life, for the gift of feeling His presence, no matter where the smile carries us. The smile spreads from one person to the next, as God fulfills each and everyone with His passion for all of His children.
   
   Spirituality is in the way one listens to another. It is taking time to hear what is being said, commenting on what is heard. It is taking the message told and acting upon it, whether it is with a hug, a prayer, or the lighting of a candle. It is being there for someone after knowing what has been told to another.
   
   It is felt within the heart. The heart is strong, filled with warmth, reaching out to others. It is going beyond oneself, to always offer a hand, an ear, a voice, an observance, to those surrounding us.
   
   It is understanding. No judgments are made. It is nodding one's head, in agreement to what is occurring in the lives of our fellow brethren. It is showing one will be there for our brothers and sisters, no matter what.
   
   It is acting upon faith and displaying faith. It is living the way God wants to to live, based upon our strong belief in Him. It is never giving up, to continue to live the faith, how having God in a one's life serves as a continuing inspiration so many can see how wonderful life is, in spite of the downfalls we endure.
   
   It is never feeling alone. It is knowing the Holy Spirit dwells within us, never leaving us, not even for a given moment. It is always feeling His love, warmth, care, attention and thoughts, day and night, throughout our lives, in this Kingdom and in the next.
   
   
   

A Conversation With a Seven Year Old

A darling seven year old girl was talking to me on the phone the other day. It all started while having a phone visit with her mother. Her mother had just told me her daughter had a question for her religious education teacher. When she asked her question, the teacher had told the little girl she had asked a good question, but to save it until next year. Her teacher at that time could answer it.

To say the least, I was somewhat taken aback by this reply. The next thing I heard myself saying was to the mother was to put her daughter on the phone, I would do what I could to answer it and any other questions on her mind. The mother was happy to do so, as she and her husband could not keep up with her curiosity about life itself. For the next one and a half hours, this inquisitive child asked me questions. I imagine these were questions she had been storing up for quite some time.

What she asked was beyond her years. I instantly connected with Judith (the name I am giving her, as Judith in the Bible was a wise and intelligent woman). Her first question was not a religious one, but why we had eyelashes. I told her they prevented dust or whatever else is in the air from entering the eye. I added that without eyelashes, our eyes make a clicking sound, that we can hear and feel our eyes blink each time we do so. I said this last bit of information was from my own experience, when a gas oven burned my face, taking away my eyelashes.

This fascinated her. The rest of the conversation, Judith fascinated me. She had many, many questions about God and what he does for us. She began by asking us if we all became angels of God when we die. Since none of us have been to heaven, I told her, we can’t say for sure if we all become angels, but we are part of his group of saints, praying for all of us on earth.

Satisfied with this, she wanted to know about evil and why we have it, using many examples of where she has seen sadness or heard about it. This dialogue lasted quite a bit, as I explained about choices God allows us to make, to grow in our wisdom. Without experiences, we could not strengthen our souls. God was there to always love us, to help us get through those difficult times. Unfortunately, some people make poor choices, which do harm others. We can only pray for them, that they will learn better decision making, to feel God’s spirit within them. It is hard for all of us to understand wrong choices people make, much less a seven year old child trying to grasp this.

Judith was not yet satisfied. She said she one more question for me. How, she said, did we get placed in a mommy’s tummy. This was a question her parents especially dreaded. Whenever it came up, they changed the topic, as it was an awkward one to answer. They were not yet ready to explain it to their daughter, who was going into second grade in a few days.

I did answer her question. But, I answered it in a spiritual way. I told her how our souls were created before we became human beings. God had to find that special mommy and daddy to plant each particular, precious soul. It started as a little seed, inside the mommy. Just as a seed grows in the garden when we take care of it, the mommy takes care of her little seed, making sure it receives all the goodness it needs. This puzzled her, wondering how this could happen. I told her about the tiny mustard seed, that when planted, turns into a strong bush. She, too, grew, to be a strong baby, ready to be born into the family. Sometimes it’s hard to understand just how God works, but that is what makes God so magnificent.

As our conversation drew to a close, I could feel the weight lifted from her shoulders. Her voice became lighter and she talked faster, excited to have her mind filled with new things.

I, too, felt a weight lift from my shoulders. I had let everyday problems get to me, the daily activities which at times bear down upon an adult. Getting wrapped up in them had let me forget about the greatness of God and the wonderful soul he has given me. It took a little girl to make me remember what is most important in my life. I am to continue to nourish my heart, my soul and my mind, as they are those precious gifts from God.

Water Wonders

While out watering our beautiful, blessed garden the other day, I once again realized just how wonderful water is. Here I am, sprinkling water on all the colors of our garden, while the water itself made its own rainbow of colors. The water was vibrant, letting everything be showered with new life. Yes, new life, as the moisture let everything revive from the baking heat into being strong once again.
My thoughts drifted as I continued to bring my thirsty plants back to life. I began to think of the vast amounts of water our world has. The beautiful ocean is such a spiritual entity for me. Though I seldom have the chance to visit the sea, I love to sit by its edge, imagining all the life it holds,. From where I contemplated with my thoughts about this, I knew I could not actually see all what the magnificent waters held. But I believed, not seeing. I smiled, visualizing activity under the blue-green waters. There would be those rainbows of colors, supplied by God, making each living plant and animal dependent upon one another.
As the days passed, I have still continued to think about what water does for us. It brings my own self back to life when I thirst, and gives me tremendous strength as I feel the sensations of it as I do my daily workout at the pool. I can’t stay away from it. I want to continue to feel the soothing effects it provides me as I glide from one place to another in the water. My smile comes back, as I thank God for giving me the privilege to feel the water upon me, both internally and externally.
While moving in the water, praying and meditating my thoughts to God, I am reminded how my life began with water. I received the baptismal water, which created its own beautiful rainbow of new life for me. I was blessed in the name of the Father, of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. What joys opened up for me, to know the strength to carry me in my faith and my life began at that very moment. The Holy Spirit resided within me, and through God, Jesus was always there to protect me, to carry me and walk beside me. The world was not black and white anymore, but filled with every color of the rainbow, as I was surrounded with love.
The water is pure and clear. It is silent as it gives life to the gardens, to life in the seas and to my own life. Yet, what a loud resonance it makes, giving all in our world the life God provides for us!

"O God, you are my God,
and I long for you.
My whole being desires you;
like a dry, worn-out, and waterless land,
my soul is thirsty for you.
Let me see you in the sanctuary;
let me see how mighty and glorious you are.
Your constant love is better than life itself,
and so I will praise you.
I will give you thanks as long as I life;
I will raise my hands to you in prayer.
My soul will feast and be satisfied,
and I will sing glad songs of praise to you."
Psalm 63:1-5

God's Ear

While in prayer one night, I was asking for guidance on how to correct a mistake I had made. Being a perfectionist, others would laugh at what they wouldn't even consider it as something wrong. But, for me, I needed to find some peace. I kept saying to myself, 'If only I had..., instead of...'

I suppose another word for this is 'hindsight.' But what has happened cannot be changed. We can say "Next time, I will..." which does help us for future situations. As I tell my children, if we did not have experiences, whether they be good or bad, we would not have our wisdom. We would not learn to be stronger in character, as it is through the choices we make which build us up or tear us down, with each decision made.

But, I did love God's reply to me that night. He said, in his gentle voice, "Marie, what matters is who you are right now. Don't worry about mistakes from the past!" Our dear Lord could not say it better. What comfort it brought me!

Yes, take who I am right now, continuing to build upon it, in faith, prayer, hope, charity, love, happiness and kindness, to name only a few. Also, take who I am and listen. Truly listen. We have a habit of turning on a radio, cd player or a television when we enter a silent room. Yet, if we just left it silent, we would be surprised at what we could hear. There are the birds chirping and singing, the sound of a gentle breeze, the leaves rustling. There are the crickets playing their music, actually allowing us to know what the temperature it is outside. Most of all, we can listen to God! Yes, He is there, waiting for us to let Him in. If there is constant noise around us, how can we possibly hear what He is saying to us? Soon, I know He is also listening to me . He cares what I have to say.

If I am in the car, I seem to have many conversations with Him, especially on my way to Church. I ask him to provide me with an inner peace, so I may reflect this calmness to my students or my fellow brethren. In turn, they will begin to feel calm themselves, feeling our Lord within their souls. In traffic, I may be thanking God for my family, telling him to please continue to protect them as He does right now. I might even tell him a funny story about me. Yes, God laughs, just as we do.

I remember one time in Mass, a child was given a crucifix on a chain to play with by his mother. From where I was sitting, all I could do was see that child swinging the cross in a circular motion non-stop. I talked to God, to ask him to please have this behavior stop. I do not like seeing the cross treated this way, much less having that motion, not giving me any sense of peace. As I was attempting to only focus on the priest, I suddenly had a sharp pain hit my arm. I let out a small gasp, not expecting this pain. In my lap fell that crucifix! He had swung it hard enough that it left the chain and flew into me! I grinned, telling God thank you for answering my prayer, but what a way for Him to have that child stop what was bothering me!

I laid the cross beside me, wanting to talk to the child afterward, in a very gentle voice, at his level, how important the crucifix is. But, his mother was so embarrassed when she saw the whole thing happen, she grabbed her son and left the Church!

As always, God was there for me, not matter what is going on!

May you always feel God's presence, especially in the silence!

I will give you rest

In Matthew 11:28-30, we hear the Lord speaking to us, saying "Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest in your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

When I read this passage, I think of the popular saying, "Lord there is nothing which will be given to me that you and I can't handle." This can be a big task! It brings back a memory from a number of years ago. I had always been the active one in an organization I had joined. Suddenly, I was not. It was as if I had dropped off the planet. I wasn't returning phone calls, nor was I carrying out needed responsibilities as a member of the group. Finally, I got up my nerve, calling the group's president. I said I was sure she was wondering what had happened to me. Speaking in a cool tone, she was indeed wondering why I was not being involved. I began to explain to her what was going on in my life at that time. There were problems with one of our children, serious problems. I had been ill, quite ill. Aside from these two issues, there were many other drastic happenings going on in my life. By the time I finished speaking, her voice was warm and heartfelt. She said to me, "You know, I think sometimes God does give us more than we can handle." I broke down in tears at her kind words.

Yes, it did seem it was more than I could handle. But, I kept talking to God, feeling closer to him than if everything had been going perfect in my life. God gave me the privilege of having him close to me in my heart throughout day and night. I got to constantly recall Christ's passion and how he sacrificed himself out of love for me, so I could have a better life. I told myself if Christ could endure tremendous hardships, I could too. He would be there to help me carry my heavy burdens, if only I would remember to let him do so. His door was narrow, but I had the chance to enter it and let his yoke fall upon me. He could give my soul a chance to be calm, instead of being in constant turmoil.

I did make it through those hard times. It did help me to hear that it seems I was given too much to handle, but God knew better than I that I could handle what was presented to me. I could rise to the top. It wouldn't be an easy ride, but the struggles led me to be only closer to God. Because of my closeness to him, I never gave up. I never even came close to giving up. I didn't need to. God was there to carry me.

The Tragic story of a Delightful Teen.

How do I express my feelings about the loss of Alyssa? I have known her for ten years, since she was seven years old. Today, her birthday, she would have been celebrating her 17th year of life. Instead of celebrating her special day, we were celebrating the life she had, until it quickly ended on June 27, 2009, all to the hands of a drunk driver.

She was in a car with four other teens. No, they were not to be out at that hour and no, there were not to be that many teens in one car. But, teens are teens. They are out to have a good time, not thinking about tomorrow. What is important is the here and now. We are here together, so now let’s have a good time.

Sadly, the drunk driver finds his good time by consuming more alcohol than his body can hold. No longer can he function in a coherent manner. All reasoning goes out the window, blowing away like the wind would. Instead of thinking of calling a friend to come get him, he gets behind the wheel of a huge weapon, his car. Where he started his journey to begin his path to murder is not known.

What is known is that shortly after midnight, he is driving down the highway. He is carefree after all of his alcohol consumption. He Is so carefree he doesn’t even drive on his side of the road. It is dark outside, with a caravan of cars carrying teens going in the opposite direction. Their headlights are on. They are driving below the speed limit, going about 50 mph. That is why they are on this road in the first place, instead of the Interstate. The lead car cannot go fast, with the driver too nervous to have cars zipping by her, at 75 mph.

It is likely the teens are laughing and talking in the car, with the conversation being whatever it is the teens talk about.. the music on the radio, an upcoming concert, what they plan to do when they get to the house of their friend.

Eyes straight ahead, following the road to a friend’s home in Eldorado. Suddenly, there are head lights glaring at her in the same lane she is in. It takes only a moment to realize this car, holding the carefree driver, is on the wrong side of the road, also going 50 mph.

What to do? Aha! Having a split-second decision, the driver thinks, “I will get into the lane he is supposed to be in and drive past him.” As she switches lanes, the carefree driver seems to have an ‘alert’ moment. Aha! In his split-second decision, he says, “I need to back over into my own lane!”

How come he didn’t notice she had already started to move over, to occupy the lane he should have never left in the first place? Instead, he plows into the side of the car as it attempts to switch lanes. Immediately, four teenagers are dead and one is in serious condition. As for our carefree driver? Some bruising on his chest. Nothing else.

Cell phones are immediately put to use. The caravan of teens sees what happens, some of them calling 911. Then, they run to see how bad the accident is. Oh my gosh. It is worse than they could ever imagine. Their friends are dead. Blood is everywhere. Someone calls 911 to say to hurry, it is a terrible, terrible accident.

Among the dead is Alyssa Trouw, the soft spoken, giggly girl. The girl who has been a good friend of my daughter Kathryn since second grade. The girl who would come into our living room with a big hi, followed by a big hug. She always paused before going off with Kathryn, both in arriving and in leaving, to give another hug and to say how she is doing. Always, there was that giggle. How happy she always was!

July 12, 2009

I have been thinking about Alyssa constantly. At her funeral, it is mentioned how intelligent she was. Not just 'normal' intellgient, but 'extremely' intelligent, more than other people who are bright. She went to Borders and bought the Koran, just for her own interest. She loved to read the Wall Street Journal...at age 16! Her grades were exceptional. She was full of wonder and full of curiousity.

But she was also very artistic. We have some of her art work over here, as she drew pictures for Kathryn through the years. They remain posted on Kathryn's bulletin board, some of them from grade school. I have always admired her talents.

My first experience of getting to know Alyssa was when she and I shared a bus seat on a school field trip. She was this little thing, age seven and a second grader, sitting with a space beside her on the bus. I asked if I could sit with her. She gave me her darling smile and nodded for me to join her. We never stopped talking the whole way to our destination and the whole way back. I don't remember where we went that day, I just remember with being impressed how much she would share of herself and this young age.

It was like this everytime she and I saw eachother. It could be at school, where she was in the classroom across from mine, or when she came over to get together with Kathryn, for an afternoon or for a sleepover. She would always come to visit me a bit when she was over. Kathryn was used to this, willing to share her friend. We truly liked one another.

Once, I told her mom how wonderful Alyssa was, and how generous she was in conversing with me, an adult. Her mother said she was actually quite shy, not opening up to many people. I felt quite honored she was comfortable with me. I had no idea she was not like this with everyone.

At her service, so many spoke about this shyness. They knew she was bright, happy, smart and artistic. But they also knew she didn't talk much. How privileged I was, getting to be part of her life, opening up her door to allow me to be part of her world.

She was over at our home about a month before she passed away. We didn't even know she was here, entering with a group of girls, having a get together downstairs. Most would be spending the night over here, with Kathryn hosting this end of the schoolyear get together. She was not able to spend the night, leaving about 11pm. As I saw her walk past, I called out a hello to her from the other room. She let out a delightful hi in return, immediately coming over to give me a hug. She stayed to visit with Tom and I for a few minutes, where she told of the end of her school year, continuing with small talk. Every little bit, she would let out the cutest giggle, giving us her beautiful grin. She promised to visit again soon.

I am sorry this visit will not get to come. I can talk to her magnificient spirit, only imagining what she would be saying to me. Yet, maybe it really is her talking to me, as the spirit can do unimaginable things. I will continue to feel her presence, throughout the day and into the night. Goodbye, Alyssa. I love you and always will.