MY CHOICE

On a daily, short, reflection I write on Facebook, “Spirituality From A Wheelchair,” I posted recently about my prayer to God. I asked Him to forgive somebody I know. God immediately responded to my prayer, telling me, “I already have forgiven. Now, it is up to you.” This was a revelation for me. My eyes opened wide, followed by a smile. Of course, He has forgiven, as He does not hold grudges. We are the ones whom are guilty of this.

Granted, it has taken me a long time to learn not hold onto a grudge. I was even holding a recent grudge, as I asked God to forgive another. It is an on-going process to move on, instead of remaining stagnant. I have had to ask God to help me move-on, to give me to the strength to do so.

I can be stuck in a whirlpool, asking repeatedly, “How can I forgive this person who has done harm to another of God’s family? Because of those actions, others will never be the same!” I am not progressing anywhere in my life as I continue to ask this. If I take my faith seriously, then I must leave this vicious cycle behind. It is not going to change what has happened. All it does is let me focus on the perpetrator rather than on the innocent victim. I have let badness take priority over goodness.

It is amazing to me that once I have taken the path of forgiveness, that person’s face and name is no longer taking precedence in my head. The actions of a co-worker, someone close to me, or a person I only heard about in the media, is no longer in my thoughts. It is as if God has this enormous chalkboard eraser, wiping my slate clean, as soon as I say I have forgiven.

I cannot just instantly say, “I forgive,” because if I do, I do not feel the sincerity in my words. However, I do not let it linger, as I used to do. At times, I do ‘pass the buck’ onto God, asking Him to help another understand the difference between right and wrong behaviors. I no longer will carry it on my shoulders.

There is such a relief in my tight muscles as I let it go. I may also pray for the troubled one, but now, it is at a different level. There is no longer a feeling of wrath; rather, there is an emotion of being at peace.

I silently ask others to live in the image of God, not in the image of my ideas. God has made each one of us unique and special, holding gifts, burdens, joys and sorrows. We are the ones who must make the choices with what He has given us. If we recognize the choices of others as being in error, ask God to help them get back on the correct path, during their spiritual journey.

A little first grader told me once how angry she was when she saw someone steal a sweater at the store. She wanted to get very angry with the person, proceeding to ask me why this person would take something he did not pay for. I told her about choices God gives us. Continuing, I asked her to pray to God to help the man understand not to this anymore. I gently told her not to stay angry. She could not change this man, but to pray for him. Let him feel God’s love. When he becomes aware of this love, he will not want to take things not belonging to him.

Challenges are part of our daily lives. As God told me, “Now, it is up to you.” These words will remain in my thoughts. I will take the challenges and be at peace with my decisions, living in the image of God.

CHANGES

There are different ways to respond to change. If it is a change of the seasons, there can be excitement, looking forward to what that particular season will bring. A change in careers might also bring excitement, or it may set the nerves stirring, unsure of if the new work environment will be a happy one .
If a member of a family passes away, there is another form of change. A void is there, one that is irreplaceable. Learning how to carry on without the loved one can cause considerable change in someone’s life. With the passing of an individual, there may also be changes for friends, classmates and coworkers. It can mean new seating arrangements, a change in the work distribution, and the possibility of a newly assigned workspace. Most importantly, emotions are strong, with changes happening in the lives of those left behind. My own daughter changed her college goals after the death of a friend this past summer, because of a drunk driver hitting her car, killing three other friends with her. Instead of going into her passion of singing, wanting to become involved in opera, she changed her major to social work, wanting to help any teen going through a struggle after losing a friend.
This leads into another change. Because of a change in her college major, she could change the lives of future teens after the death of a dear friend. God intervened here, we do believe, to have her reach out to others in a different way than previously planned. As parents, we have also changed, excited before about a career in opera, now emotional and proud of her, turning to a life of service.
Changes continue. However, at times, the change is not accepted very well. How many times do we enter a meeting, commuter train or bus, always taking the same placement at the table or the same chair in a specific row of seats, only to find someone new there, sitting in OUR SPOT! We are not happy about this. Just who do they think they are? After the meeting, there is still talk. How can someone take precedence when it is MY seat! It can throw off the whole day! I will just have to give a GLARE to this person…as if the person could understand the purpose of this look of anger!
One of the places where the blood pressure rises if ‘our seat’ is taken is at church. How funny it is, to think this is where we can we get quite emotional. Instead of welcoming the newcomer, we look at them with disdain. Here we are, in the house of God, being angry with our brethren, all over a seat! I would love to see the look on God’s face as we make our own faces and react through our words of demise, of not getting to sit where we always do. It can ruin the whole service. Everything looks different, including the people surrounding us. How can we make it through the hour? A shifting of the legs, arms folded across our chests, shows how unacceptable it is to have to make a move.
Rather, we should be glad to meet the people surrounding our new seats, enjoying the different ‘scenery.’ We might be surprised how the change can be good for us. In change, we can be refreshed, looking at something new. It is not the ‘same ol,’ ‘same ol,’ where we can almost forget where we are. With the change, we can observe things we had not noticed before, possibly something that could change our lives. Meeting a new ‘seatmate’ could lead to a new friendship. Instead of looking at it with such negativity, it is good to see the positive side of this change. It might even mean one would like to return once again to the new seat. Let the newcomers keep the previous, permanent spot. Enjoy the new surroundings. Of course, this may mean we have taken the spot of other ‘permanent residents!’ We can look at the other with a smile, reaching out our hands in greeting, or acknowledging with a nod as we show happiness on our faces. Another change is now occurring, as they find a new place to sit. Change can be good. It keeps the body going, giving a dose of refreshment, visiting God in a completely new light!
At the next meeting, class or church service you attend, think about taking a new seat. It is not good to get stuck in a rut. How can we grow if we stay in this rut? Take a different route to work this week! Sit at a different place at the table. Seriously think about sitting at a different place while at a church service! You can start just by moving a seat forward from where you usually are. Do not worry about what others will think. Think about yourself, how you want to be renewed! Others will be renewed, as you make the change to sit elsewhere and so must they. Imagine God’s smile as you decide to get to know Him through a different view! There is nothing like envisaging a smile from God!