Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

COMPARING THE CROSS

So often, as we go through something which brings us unbearable pain, there is the feeling no one has gone through something as bad as we have. True, there are incidents which I feel are beyond comprehension in the depth of pain, such as the death of a child. But, as others go through personal pain, we are not the ones to judge how heavy the cross is that they carry the burden upon their shoulders. It is easy to judge, but this isn't what God wants of us.

Yes, I have judged, I must admit. But immediately, I do feel God telling me to calm down; He will take care of things. Are my thoughts going to be the ones who changes this person? No, as they are just thoughts. I wouldn't dare go up to that person and say, “You don't know what a REAL problem is...” To this person, it is a real problem. How this person feels is not going to affect what is going on in my own life. If we begin to get angry or upset about it, this takes over, rather than focusing on our own heaviness.

Maybe, just maybe, we can pray to God, asking Him to help those we know in need. I know, it may be as simple as a broken fingernail, which to us is ridiculous. But to a teenager, this is a moment of distraught. Why not turn into this person, acknowledging the problem. The person may feel as if someone really understands the weight of that cross. It won't hurt us to say “I'm sorry.” Only two words!

Praise God, thanking Him for what He does do for each of us. Make known how He has been there, helping us to carry our cross. Pray that He will be there to help others carry their cross. It may appear minor to us, but to another, it is major. Let God decide how to handle it.

As for me, every time I think of my cross being heavy, I think of those passing away before their time. Immediately after this first thought, I think of how Christ suffered on the cross, bringing to my own mind words that I cannot express . Only picturing what He went through brings grimace to my face and pain to my heart.

This may be the same picture people have in their minds as they go through their own suffering. Let us pray to Christ to be there, to help one and all.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

BIRTHDAY

Today is the 18th birthday of my third and youngest child. Wow! Eighteen! Last night, she was teasing me that since she will be 18, she will go get tattoos and body piercings. As I screamed in horror, she was giving me her big smile.

It is wonderful to have a tight bond with her. She has the same bond with my husband, her dad. As we visited with one another in the living room last night, I couldn't help but think back to the day she was born and the days leading up to her birth. Three months prior to her birthday, I was on bed rest, only being allowed to raise my head by two pillows. Sitting on the bed with me each day were my five year old son and three year old daughter. It was a wonderful time. I could turn on my side, meaning we played many a card and board game. I read them stories and they drew me pictures. It was one of the nicest times in my life. A 'mom' usually has to be cleaning, cooking and doing laundry, throwing in some quality time with the children. Now, I could have quality time with them all day long. What fun we had!

But, at the end of these three months, things took a precarious turn. I was rushed by air ambulance to a hospital in another city, where there would be the medical facilities to treat a premature baby. You see, she would be arriving eight weeks early, and her lungs were not yet developed. We would soon find out there many other complications from arriving early.

She arrived, weighing in at 4 lbs 4 oz. We were thrilled at the weight, which was a plus for her, as well as being a female. The neonatal doctor said the female is a stronger fighter than the male, even from the start! We didn't know, though, from one hour to the next, what condition she would be in. It was a rough five week hospital stay. We brought her home, earlier than the doctors wanted, but the insurance representatives wanted her home. It's funny how they get to make the decisions, isn't it.

Her big brother and sister were delighted to meet her, as they had not been allowed into the neonatal intensive care unit. It was a beautiful homecoming.

During her first year, she had a heart monitor and medications every three hours. She remained tiny, going through months of pain. Once, she cried for 19 straight hours. I never let her out of my arms, trying to soothe her. She cried the next day, too, but she had laryngitis. I continued to hold her next to my heart.

Months turned into years. She continued to prosper, enjoying her physical, occupational and speech therapies. She remained a shy little girl, having a nice group of friends, writing stories which made her teachers think she would be a great author one day. Each wanted to keep an original writing so they could show it to others, saying they knew her when...

She remained to be my shy child, smiling with her big eyes to others, but not speaking. Even to her own family, she spoke with the quietest voice. At age 16, she surprised us by saying she planned to join the teen choir at Church. As she went to her first practice, I sat in the Church, my head down in prayer. Suddenly, I heard a voice which sent shivers down my spine and goosebumps down my arms. My eyes watered, as I said to myself that what I was hearing was the most beautiful voice I had ever heard. Imagine my surprise to see it was my daughter, as I looked up from prayer!
My teen had blossomed into such a spiritual being. Her shyness disappeared. She asked three different churches if she could teach in their Vacation Bible School programs over the summer. At the Children's Museum, she asked if she could also volunteer, which led into a job down the road. She joined the swim team and Key Club, becoming its president. She became involved in another sacred choir and school music productions. God has taken good care of her.

I know none of this would have happened if it weren't for God. He became present in her little soul from the moment she began her life within me. He has carried her through the struggles, the pain, the joys and through all she has wanted to do in her life. He heard everyone asking for His help as she began her fragile life. Hope was always there. Hope does not disappoint us, just as Romans 5:3-5 says, as the love and Spirit of God will endure forever. Thank you, God, for giving me your hope and love, even when I couldn't see the light.