BJ

I continue to write about what a young person has said to me. My only wish is that I had kept a journal through all my years of teaching, on what they taught me through their innocent words. This time, I am telling you about BJ.
BJ was my quiet fifth grader. It was my third year to have him, in a low-level class I instructed. He was like a teddy bear, with a sweet face, a bit overweight, a child who never got excited about anything. His temperament was gentle, always speaking in the same, rather monotonous, voice.
He was in a class of eight boys. If you know boys, you are aware of them not being able to sit still for too long. They like to be active, releasing their never-ending energy. But not BJ. He was content, observing his classmates, as they participated with excitement in my planned activities. Because I had had the same eight boys for three years, we were like family, not hesitant to say anything in a dialogue. Sweet BJ would take it all in, but rarely wanted to join us in our discourses. During our fun and stimulating discussions, with the boys calling out answers to my questions, BJ would not say a word. Once, I went over to him, going through some motions as if I was playing charades, and asked him if he could figure out what I was attempting to say. He could not. I had pretended to light a match, placing it under his desk. I said I was trying to light a fire under him to make him become alive. Knowing my sense of humor, he and the other boys gave me a big grin. The fire quickly went out. That was okay, as BJ made me have a grin, being just himself.
To see if my students have retained what I have taught, I throw a beanbag to one of them, asking a question as I toss it. They are to answer the question once they have the beanbag in their hands. This is what I was doing one afternoon, after having an extensive unit on the journey of Lewis and Clark. We had spent weeks learning about their two-year expedition, with many exciting activities completed. The boys had great retention of their travels between 1804 and 1806.
Throwing the beanbag to BJ, I asked him to tell me when Lewis and Clark returned from their journey. For several seconds, he was pondering upon the question, his eyes telling me he was searching for the answer in his mind. Ah, a reply suddenly came to him. He announced, “About eight o’clock!”
Once again, BJ made me grin! What could I say? Maybe they did return at that time. What a precious answer! I did tell him that they might have returned around eight, but it was not quite the answer I was looking for.
What is great is that BJ never tried to be anything else but himself. It is the way God wanted him to be. So often, people try to be like another being, hoping they will fit in better to the norm of society. However, this is not what God wants. He gave each of us a special gift, placing it in our souls at the moment of conception. It is up to us to open this gift and share it with all. BJ did a beautiful job of sharing his gift. He brought smiles to many, using his spirit in the way God planned.

THE MESSAGE BEHIND THE STORY

This is the time of year where we hear the story of the prodigal son. It is a well-known parable, giving us a powerful message. There are family involved, actions of the family, and reactions to actions taken. It was only within the last five years that I looked up the word ‘prodigal’ in the dictionary. All along, I have to admit, I thought the word had meant something along the line of a wandering person, wanting to spread one’s wings. I was surprised to see it meant someone who spent lavishly and extravagantly. I have shared this definition with both the young and old. Many are surprised to find out the true definition, all thinking as I did in terminology. Learning the meaning adds to the dimension of the story.
We have one brother who stays home, doing all of the duties formerly shared by both siblings. He does just what his father asks, obeying him in every sense of the word. In the meantime, we have the other brother who could not care less about helping his father, out having a good time, spending the money, which was to be his after his father passed away.
However, the money runs out and suddenly it is not fun anymore. The only path to take now is the one that will take him home. He likely does a great deal of thinking during his journey, being ashamed for his actions. He has hurt his father, made his brother do all the tremendous work involved in keeping a property in good shape, and spent money that actually was not rightfully his until after the death of his dad. Oh, how his head must be hanging low!
To top it off, the father can only stare out at the vast land, hoping that someday his son will return. He cannot help the other son work the land, as he is too forlorn at the loss of his child, wondering if he will ever come back home. Granted, he did give the inheritance to him early. Maybe he thought he would spend the money wisely, making him proud, trusting him to do so.
Alas! He is there in the horizon, only a tiny figure, slowly walking, almost home to make amends with his father and brother. “Dad” gets excited, telling his staff to get ready for a big celebration for this lost soul. Wait a minute! What about the son at home, serving him all this time? As one student said to me, “What a rip off!”
After prayer and conversing with God, I began to understand more fully what was going on here. While one son did all the motions of being a good son, never pausing to question all of his assigned duties in honoring his father, the other son returned going through the Emotions to care rightfully for his parent. He was willing to become a servant, if that is what it would take.
His father was ready to forgive, wanting him to wear the shoes and robe of a family member, not be barefooted as the servants were. He was welcomed back into the family, forgiven for his past actions.
One message here is that all of us need to take a step back and think if we are going through just the motions when we are there for another, or are we putting our emotions into what we do, nourishing our actions with love and care. What a difference it can make! The recipient can feel the love, rather than feeling only a void, duties taking on mechanical movements.
Another message also comes forth, that of forgiving instead of holding a grudge. No matter how awful another has been, we need to let go of the anger the loved one has caused us. This is what God wants us to do, accepting the apology on one another. Someday, we may be the ones asking for forgiveness. Imagine your remorse, yet the other party only continuing to turn his back on you.
God would never turn His back on any of us, nor should we do so to others. No matter how bad it is, God will forgive. He does want us to repent. He knows when we are sorry. His love will grow stronger within one. There is a lightness upon the shoulders as forgiveness is given and accepted. In its place is character, wisdom, love and a new strength within our spiritual souls to live our lives in the image of God.

JESUS AND THE CLOCK

I have mentioned Brian before, age three, in my writings. I cannot imagine him ever not being able to talk. He has been verbal, talking in full sentences, forever! I never tire of what he has to say to me. During several of our many conversations, he excitedly pointed to the clock, telling me Jesus was in there. He persevered for several weeks, saying how Jesus was behind those hour and minute hands. I could not figure out what where he got this idea, but I went along, saying how nice that was.
Remaining puzzled, I did wonder what he meant. Questioning him brought no answers. Nonetheless, I was happy he was still telling me about Jesus. It is never too young for a little one to begin a love for Him. Usually, I do not get a chance to visit with his mother, but one day, she happened to mention to me that she had been trying to tell Brian how Jesus was wrapped in a cloth after He died, but he kept thinking his mommy was talking about a clock!
Now it all made sense! I laughed, telling her how often he had told me about Jesus being in the clock. She did not need to be embarrassed; it was nice to see an innocent wee one, wanting to share his perceptions with me.
Brian’s little sister, Marie, has recently joined us in our conversations. She is two, no bigger than a minute. She has the same enthusiasm as he does. One time, she yelled, “Bye, Jesus!,” giving a wave as we left the small chapel where we had been.
Sometimes, instead of looking into all the books written and all the lectures attended, we can learn the most from children. They speak from the heart and from the souls God has given each of them. Nothing blocks their paths; they say it as they see it.
We can inhale a breath, absorbing this innocence, learning from their words of wisdom. Think about it. How often can we quickly quote what a child says before the words of an authoritarian? Yes, I often refer to my books for important quotes, but in the front of my mind, I have a picture of small human beings, enhancing me with captivating words.
In the meantime, every time I see a clock, I envision Jesus in there, looking out at me, as each minute ticks away!

HOPING

Spring isn't quite ready to arrive in Santa Fe. It did warm up to 44 degrees today, but we have a couple of months to go before our trees and gardens come to life. However, it doesn't mean I can't enjoy some of those blossoms a bit early. I will clip a few offshoots from the apple tree and forsythia bush, bringing them into the house. Placing them into a vase of water, I will get to see them blossom, bringing a lovely color and fragrance into our home. It is a nice way to keep the spirits up, while the dreary weather lingers on. It leaves us with a sense of hope, of what is to come.
Hope is just what Christ wants us to have. I always think of Job and all he went through. There was one struggle or tragedy after another, but he continued to hope for better things to come. It took awhile, but because of his faith, never giving up, life did get better. The Psalms tell us of having hope in God, aiding us in good times and in bad. Psalm 31:24 tells us, “Be strong, be courageous, all you that hope in the Lord.” There is even the funny proverb, Proverbs 29:20, “There is more hope for a stupid fool than for someone who speaks without thinking.”
I love Romans 5:3-5, “We rejoice in our sufferings, know that suffering produces endurance and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, which has been given to us.” Paul gives us an important message in Acts 23:6, “...Fellow Israelites ! I am a Pharisee, the son of Pharisees. I am on trial here because of the hope I have that the dead will rise to life!” How apropos, knowing that at the end of our Lenten season, our sorrow will turn to joy, as we celebrate Christ's resurrection.
The Bible uses the word 'hope' about 150 times. It has a powerful meaning, reminding us to always keep our faith, knowing that if God is in our lives, there is always hope.

YESTERDAY

After writing yesterday’s blog, I received more responses than I ever have. It shows what the concept of death does to us. I thank everyone who sent me a note, as it helps me grow in my own spirituality.
Yes, we all know that death is part of life, and we understand how we will spend eternity with God. Yet, it does not undermine that we all hate to see a life end. My 94 year old mother is having a hard time, knowing the number of years ahead of her are limited. A dear cousin of mine said for me not to take how she reacts personally to current events. She is angry knowing the years ahead of her are few. I appreciate this note of wisdom. What a thought, to comprehend that there cannot be that many years left when one reaches her age.
My great aunt lived to be 106. She continues to be an inspiration to me, showing how a strong will, with her mentality intact, can have a long life. But, the quality of her life had ended; she could only talk, in a quiet voice, stretched out on the couch. Before, she was a vibrant woman. She was out milking the cows, canning food, and making a huge dinner in the middle of the day for her sons, who came in from the workings of the ranch to get a good meal, before they went out to work until sunset. She taught me how to make taffy, at the age of 16. I remember how my cousin, at the same age, went over to answer the phone, in the middle of the taffy making process. The ingredients had him holding one hand out, with the substance ready to go through a ‘twisting.’ He couldn’t do it, since he was on the phone. Great Aunt Mary ran across the kitchen, to fold over this dripping mess in his hands. She didn’t say a word; of course, she did let out a little sound of exasperation, but she never uttered a word of frustration.
I still have a photo of Great Aunt Mary on my refrigerator door. She is such an image of inspiration. The family recognized her as a blood relative, rather than marrying into the family. All of us saw her as reminding ourselves that this is what family is all about. She never complained. She instead took on the role of wife, mother, grandmother, aunt, neighbor and friend.
Though she has moved on to her eternal life, she is an example of what life is like now, and how it will be when we leave this world. No, none of us wish to leave those we love. We want to see them be in our lives forever. But, they will be in our eternal lives. We are sad they cannot be with us, as we witness celebrations and hallmarks in our lives. But, though we cannot hug them as we go through these special times, they are witnessing from above. Later in life, we will get to touch them and hold them in our lives once again. It is something hard to perceive right now in our current lives, but it will truly happen. God never disappoints us.
Stay in constant prayer with God. Never forget to talk to those who have gone before us. All of them can read our thoughts; it is part of the joy of being in Heaven. It is those heavenly creatures who bestow upon us little happenings, making our lives be a bit less hectic or a bit less painful. I remember the morning of the day I was to have a spinal tap. My father had passed away, but paid me a visit that morning, in a vision. I saw features on him that I forgotten, such as the gold tooth when he smiled. He told me not to worry, that he would be with me throughout the tap. Knowing this, I smiled throughout this procedure, as he was with me. What a difference it made. Imagine how horrific it had been if I didn’t know he was there the whole time!
Not everyone gets to have a vision; but it doesn’t mean the loved one is not there. Yes, through every incident, whether it is happy or sad, our loved ones are there, to cheer us on. This is what God wants, to have those special angels, alongside our guardian angels, to protect us. God has stated we are never alone, and He means it. Always, there is the presence of those who have passed on. Remember, they have passed on from this life, but they are continuing to live, under the glorious kingdom of God!

AN ACCEPTANCE

No matter when death happens, we do not expect it. It may be sudden, or it may be a loved one, being ill over a period of time. Whenever it is, it is hard to accept. Someone we have loved, cared for, whom we have laughed with, talked with, and shared a hug, is no longer there. So often, the first question is to ask God why. Why did you do this, God? Why did you let this happen? Why did you let this person suffer? This is the hardest thing to grasp; the next hardest thing is realizing God didn't cause the suffering, the illness, nor the sudden death. He gave us choices to make, while others were done to human error, and still others due to the chemistry of the body, a mix-up of the make-up.. God would not impose suffering upon anyone; that was taken care of when he offered His Son so the rest of us, for all of the generations to come. God created all of us, but to decide on the genetics of everyone is not up to Him. He may have others suffer more than our brethren, but He may have felt these are the ones who can inspire all of us, to continue to give all we have in order to survive. These are the ones to whom He has a special connection. If this other person go through a hardship, then so can the next. Showing a positive, strong attitude is a definite attribute to survival. Even those who pass away during the suffering leave an impact for those left behind. His Son may have died, but once in awhile, He needs to send a reminder to us how we must live our lives. He doesn't pick anyone to go through an early death, He picks those special few to whom He feels can leave an impact upon many. As years go by, we still do not forget those who left life before their time. But, we must continue to remember it is because God chose them, to leave their mark, affecting a multitude of plenty. We recall, through them, never to take life for granted. Sometimes, it is easy to forget the role of God and the good life He gives us. By selecting a certain few, the message is once again delivered that all of us are gifts from God. Without those giving their lives, we can tend to forget the wonders of our mighty Lord. How glorious He will make the lives of those who suffered, so the rest of us may have a better life!

It is hard for those whom are left behind. It is out of order, to have someone young pass away, or a child before the parents. It does not matter if the child is now an adult; this person is still passing away before the individual's time. It is the time to ask God to give comfort to the family, to the friends and to welcome the loved one into Heaven. Ask that there will no longer be pain, nor suffering, nor a sadness among the deceased. It is very, very hard for those left behind. As the loved ones continue to try and go on with life, it is a time to remember that the one whom has passed away is now in a peace we cannot describe until we are there to join our endearing person. It may take years to begin to envelop this peace. Let all of us pray for those going through such a catastrophic process. We are to never judge those continuing in their sorrow. We are only to pray for their wellness, that they one day feel the peace their loved one feels, now living an eternal life with God.

A TEEN'S EXCITEMENT

I have been assisting a delightful young man, age 17, preparing him for receiving some of the sacraments of the Church. He is devoted to his faith, portraying a strong sense of spirituality through all he says. He is quite excited about receiving the sacraments, something not always seen in a teen. His eyes capture one, as they portray his deep seeded love for God.
A part of my philosophy in teaching is to get to know students as individuals. I want each one to know me on a personal level, as well as me getting to know them. Those in front of me are not just a number or a body; they each have a character, blessed by the Spirit, and I am interested to know what it is. I want to embrace them for who they are. I can incorporate my experiences and wisdom into their lives, but I cannot expect them to be just like me. They are to live their lives in the image of God, not in the image of me.
Following my philosophy, I asked my polite teen if he had enjoyed the weekend. He said it was good, but he was tired from staying up so late the night before. I asked him what he had been doing, to go to bed at 2AM. He had been working on his truck, he told me. As I proceeded to ask him what he was doing on his truck, one question following another, I learned just what a great person he is. In the course of the conversation, I found out what his family means to him, what they have taught him, and what pride he has in everything he takes on in life. He showed me the cross he wears on a chain around his neck, saying how special it is. He told me how he practices humility, using the talents God gave him to benefit others.
Our session time went beyond how long we were to meet. I hated to tell him we had to end, as Mass was ready to start; we needed to go into the Church, leaving the room we were in. He could not believe our session was finished, that there must still be time to talk about more things.
He became my teacher that session. His excitement flowed over, so filled with the love of God. He is truly an example of living the faith.

COMPARING THE CROSS

So often, as we go through something which brings us unbearable pain, there is the feeling no one has gone through something as bad as we have. True, there are incidents which I feel are beyond comprehension in the depth of pain, such as the death of a child. But, as others go through personal pain, we are not the ones to judge how heavy the cross is that they carry the burden upon their shoulders. It is easy to judge, but this isn't what God wants of us.

Yes, I have judged, I must admit. But immediately, I do feel God telling me to calm down; He will take care of things. Are my thoughts going to be the ones who changes this person? No, as they are just thoughts. I wouldn't dare go up to that person and say, “You don't know what a REAL problem is...” To this person, it is a real problem. How this person feels is not going to affect what is going on in my own life. If we begin to get angry or upset about it, this takes over, rather than focusing on our own heaviness.

Maybe, just maybe, we can pray to God, asking Him to help those we know in need. I know, it may be as simple as a broken fingernail, which to us is ridiculous. But to a teenager, this is a moment of distraught. Why not turn into this person, acknowledging the problem. The person may feel as if someone really understands the weight of that cross. It won't hurt us to say “I'm sorry.” Only two words!

Praise God, thanking Him for what He does do for each of us. Make known how He has been there, helping us to carry our cross. Pray that He will be there to help others carry their cross. It may appear minor to us, but to another, it is major. Let God decide how to handle it.

As for me, every time I think of my cross being heavy, I think of those passing away before their time. Immediately after this first thought, I think of how Christ suffered on the cross, bringing to my own mind words that I cannot express . Only picturing what He went through brings grimace to my face and pain to my heart.

This may be the same picture people have in their minds as they go through their own suffering. Let us pray to Christ to be there, to help one and all.

Working Together

I had hoped to not miss a day of writing during the Lenten Season. But, ahhh, it happened. Though I love to write, I had to put my family first. My teenage daughter was in a few choir concerts, as well as the two of us having the chore of putting together a portfolio needed for a specific scholarship. We were honored she had been nominated for the $500 award, knowing it could lead to a second scholarship of $1000, but knew we had some work ahead of us in order to meet deadlines of turning everything in. We thought we were through putting together her portfolio a week ago, but we were asked to fine tune it a bit, including adding a table of contents to the portfolio. Though worn out from the work, it was well worth it, hoping the scholarship comes through.
It was also fun to create the portfolio. For years, I have stored up those beautiful scrapbook sheets sold in the craft stores. I kept thinking that at some time, I would use them to create something wonderful. I had also collected various stickers and packages of alphabet letters, all in different fonts, envisioning that one day, I would create a masterpiece. Now, I had my chance to use those stocked up supplies.
My 18 year old and I worked beautifully as we compiled page after page of projects, awards and activities. For years, she had stored everything in a big notebook, dropping something into the book every time she had a new momento. There was no rhyme or reason to this file. It is the same file system I have had for all of those photos we took of our children at different stages of their lives. It was fun, as memories stirred viewing each item, placing pieces in a particular pile, according to the activity and the year it happened.
We were ready to begin, having the paper cutter, scissors, glue, markers, pens, stickers and a mass array of beautifully colored sheets surrounding us. On went the music as we set to work. What a great team we made. I was amazed how alike we were in our creativity, adding borders, headlines and stickers to surround the subject matter of that particular page. We worked on separate sheets in silence, with only the music in the background. But, at the same time, we were together, as one unit, aiming toward one goal.
It made me think of the passage in 1 Corinthians 12:12-13: ‘The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts, and though all of its parts are many, they form one body-whether Jews or Greeks, slave or fee-and we were all given the one spirit, to drink.’ We all continue in our lives to be separate, yet, we all continue to join together as one. We had numerous pieces of a life, yet were able to be united as one at the end of our masterpiece. My daughter and I may be years apart age wise, yet, we continue to be one, with the same idea, of wanting to serve others. How true this is, across the continents. We may think we are different from one another, but under the eyes of God, we are the same. We want to be there for one another, through many different means, whether it be through words, actions or song.
It was a special time for the two of us, as we relived the memories of the past, while still working toward the present, which will continue to aid us in our future. God continues to show us how life is intertwined, with the past, the present and future all working together. Let us thank Him, for all that He continues to give us, no matter the stage of life we are in.

Inconveniences vs. Problems

What a day, with all the snow continuing to fall. So many of us are tired of one snowstorm after another. It makes me think of what I often ask myself, “Is it an inconvenience, or is it a problem?” Of course, it is an inconvenience! We are tired of looking out our windows, only seeing white everywhere, rather than the greens of springtime.
I often have to ask myself, “Is it an inconvenience, or is it a problem?” I call anything that is not terminal to my health an inconvenience. Yes, I have likely said this before. Yet, I continue to see others make inconveniences a problem. Just yesterday, I witnessed what was an inconvenience become a major problem. No, it was not going to be terminal to anyone, but I saw a will of the minds. I was asked to intervene. I did the best I could. To think we were in a Church situation, yet there was someone trying to overstep another, rather than thinking of the consequences. I had to silently laugh, over such a minor situation. We need to think how God would like us to respond to something, not putting ourselves above Him. I had to also think of the background of the person wanting to take charge. As always, we need to think of what is beyond the eye of the beholder. There is a way to make everyone feel comfortable, yet get a point across. It is not always easy, yet we need to think of the feelings of one another. It may be an inconvenience to us, but to the other person, it is a problem. Without stepping out of our boundaries, with the help of God, we can come up with a solution. The secret knows God is living within us, of feeling how He would respond to the same problem. He would not want to embarrass anyone. He wants everyone to feel successful, to feel no shame. Is it easy? No, but we only have to listen to God. Let us respond to His wishes, not ours.

NICOLAS

Many of you have heard me talk about Nicolas, the 17 year old who was in a snowboarding accident, leaving him in a coma. You all have prayed for him and have continued to think about him, asking how he is. Just tonight, he sent me a note, saying how much better he is, after telling him he must get depressed from time to time. He said he does not get depressed, but there are frustrating moments. What a gentle soul he is, to go through everything he has experienced and say he gets frustrated at times! At this stage in his life, he should be out building memories of being a high school senior. Instead, he is only trying to get back being at the level where he used to be. Think back to your teenage years. Can you imagine, having fun, enjoying school, doing fabulous artwork, and in the next second, all of this being taken away from you? No, I cannot imagine this!
Nicolas has made tremendous progress. He is doing schoolwork and converses beautifully. Yet, there are still missing parts. Though he may not feel he has patience, I see him being a perfect example of this virtue. We may think of patience as remaining happy as we wait in the grocery line. By the time we are home, with our goods put away, we forget all about that wait, as our minds divert to the next simple task facing us. Nicolas, on the other hand, has a long wait ahead. Yet, this delightful young man does not give up. He is living out this virtue. He knows it is a long haul to get back what he has lost; but he continues to climb this mountain, scattered with many obstacles.
We can learn from Nicolas. It does not matter that he may be younger we are. What matters is his strong faith in God. Through his faith, he knows he can meet each hurdle, gradually getting over it and moving on to the next hurdle.
Next time we have to wait in line somewhere, or did not make the green light while getting anxious to be reaching our destination, we need to think of Nicolas. He keeps hitting red lights on his journey, but he sits back and waits, knowing that green light will come.

Treating Others

    I felt quite sad for my 18 year old daughter this afternoon.  As president of her high school Key Club, she had asked her members to meet her at the nursing home, to play bingo with the seniors. Bingo is a very big thing with the elderly.  They would love to play it all the time if they could.
    Sadly, none of her members showed up.  She waited one hour.  It broke my heart. I was wondering if the members of this service club really joined to help others, or to add points to their resume for scholarships.  It also made me sad, as the elderly seem to be forgotten in our society.  They love to play bingo. They would play it all day long if they could. Yet, teens could not give up one hour of their time to make another generation happy.
    In Matthew 7:12, we read how we are to treat others in the way we are to be treated, which is a law of Moses. I wonder how these teens would like to be treated as they get older; would they want to be treated as they had treated these seniors today?  Let us not forget that God wants all of us to be treated with dignity. We are born in His image, all having His Spirit within us. Before we decide we don't have time to care for another, we need to ask ourselves if God would say He didn't have time for the elderly. No, he wouldn't say this, nor should we.  All of us will become older one day; I wonder if we will be left alone, with others being to busy to visit or play bingo with us, or if they will remember the Golden Rule, stated in Matthew, to treat others as we would want to be treated.
     The forgotten generation, those in nursing homes.  Perhaps you can find an hour to run a bingo game, work on a jigsaw puzzle, or read to the elderly, who have lost their sight and can no longer read for themselves.  Think about it.  Maybe it is a way you will want to spend the Lenten season, extending your time beyond this season.  After all, the elderly are there 365 days a year, not just at the holiday season.